


Is This Reality?

by orphan_account



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Conservative Korea, Gen, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, READ THE TAGS AND NOTES, Sad Ending, Sasaeng Fan(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:41:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24140761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A sasaeng fan exposes Dongju for being gay. It only escalates from there.(PLEASE READ TAGS AND NOTES BEFORE READING. There are many triggers.)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reminder to READ THE TAGS AND NOTES!! 
> 
> This fic can be very triggering for some people. Please read with caution.

ONEUS is on break. It’s between promotions, so each of the members use their time to relax and have fun. 

Dongju receives an invitation to meet up with one of his old high school friends. He agrees, eager to catch up with him. They decide to meet for late-night karaoke. 

Dongju has informed the others he is going out already. They told him to be careful when in public and to wear a mask and cap so no one recognizes him. He already knows this, though. 

He dresses up casually in a turtleneck, denim jacket, and skinny jeans. He throws a hat and mask on after tying the laces of his Converse sneakers. 

Dongju has a wonderful time. They order dinner for their room—a private one seeing as Dongju is famous—and enjoy finger foods and singing classic kpop hits. His friend orders a couple of soju shots, but Dongju declines the offer to drink any. His friend seems pretty drunk by the time their rent expires, the way he can’t seem to follow the tempo of a song a show-tell sign. 

Dongju offers to walk him to the train station. It’s late and his friend is drunk, so he’s a bit worried. They walk in silence until they reach the train station. It’s pretty much empty, his friend would be catching the last train out before the station closes. They sit on a bench and wait for the train to arrive. 

“I had a lot of fun today,” Dongju says. 

His friend turns to face him, “Me too. It was nice catching up.” 

His friend’s eyes are a bit glossy and there’s a high flush on his cheeks. Dongju zones out debating if he should even let his friend on the train alone when he’s _this_ drunk. He seems to get the wrong impression when he sees Dongju staring. 

Dongju’s friend suddenly leans forward and tugs down Dongju’s face mask enough to reveal his lips. Then he kisses Dongju roughly. Dongju’s eyes widen. He can taste alcohol on his friend’s breath and it’s _not_ pleasant. He shoves him off as quickly as he can. 

His friend seems offended when Dongju tugs back up his face mask and scoots away. “What the fuck? I thought you were into me?” His tone is a bit aggressive in his drunken state. 

Dongju scoots even farther away; he’s a bit frightened by the sudden shift in his friend’s attitude. “I-I think you got the wrong impression. I just wanted to meet as friends.”

“Typical idols, thinking they’re too good for commoners. You’re a piece of shit, you know that? I thought we had something—you were all over me in high school. Hell, you even told me you were gay! I thought we could hookup, but I should’ve known you’d think you’re too good for me. I should have never invited you out.” 

Dongju bites back tears. He thought he was his friend, but it seems he was wrong. Drunk people speak the truth, and it seems his friend only wanted him for pleasure. Dongju gets up wordlessly and leaves. 

When he returns to the dorm, only Youngjo is awake. He’s writing lyrics in his notebook on the couch when Dongju walks through the door. 

He looks up, “Did you have fun?”

Dongju can’t take it. He immediately plants himself next to Youngjo and curls into his side, finally letting the tears fall. 

Youngjo throws his notebook aside and wraps an arm around Dongju. “Hey are you alright, Ju?” 

“He—” Dongju sniffles, “—he was just using me! He only called me to try to hookup. I shouldn’t have told him I was gay...” 

Youngjo just rubs Dongju’s back and lets him cry into his shoulder. He’s a little shocked to hear Dongju come out, but he doesn’t mind. He’s more shocked at the context of the situation. “I’m sorry, Ju.” 

“It just hurts. I thought he was a good friend. We were so close in high school, we even came out to each other.” 

“Just forget about him, ok? A true friend wouldn’t invite you out just to hookup.” 

Dongju nods into Youngjo’s neck. “Thanks, hyung.” 

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”

“Are you sure you want to be near me? I mean, now you know that I’m gay and all…”

“I don’t care. You’re still the Dongju I love.”

Dongju smiles fondly, unbelievably thankful for Youngjo’s support. “C-Can we cuddle?”

“Of course. Tomorrow will be a new day and we can move on from this, so let’s just sleep.” 

Dongju falls asleep curled up in Youngjo’s embrace. He can just forget about his fake friend. He has his members who actually care about him. 

* * *

What Dongju doesn’t know is that the whole time, a sasaeng was following him. She had snapped a few pictures on her phone of Dongju and his friend together. She had even caught a picture of them kissing from within the shadows. 

She had run off giddily with the photos of their kiss before she could hear the truth. She was all too excited to release the exposing photos, ready to see her Twitter account blow up with clout. 

As Dongju slept peacefully in his hyung’s arms, the photos spread like rapid fire. Overnight, Dongju became the talk of K-Pop Twitter…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets worse I'm sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags carefully, many of the especially triggering ones apply here. There is also a HUGE TRIGGER for some towards the end, but I don’t want to reveal it in the tags because it’s a spoiler. It’s in the end notes if you would prefer to know beforehand. 
> 
> Please proceed with caution. Heavy angst ahead! You have been warned.

When Dongju wakes up, it’s to his phone being spammed with messages. In fact, all of the members wake up to the insistent buzzing or chimes of their phones. Any social media apps imaginable that ONEUS has accounts for are blowing up with notifications. 

Dongju opens his phone curiously and pales when he sees the newest notification. 

It's a breaking news tweet from Dispatch that ONEUS are tagged in—a news outlet you _never_ want to make headlines on. 

_[@koreadispatch]_

_BREAKING: ONEUS XION SPOTTED ON DATE WITH MAN_

_Last night, a fan spotted Dongju on a date with an unidentified man. They went out to karaoke and ended the date with a kiss. Pictures are shared below._

Dongju scrolls to find indisputable images. Though they’re grainy and dark, it’s easy to recognize Dongju with his mask down. It’s even easier to tell he’s being kissed. There’s no way to deny them. Dongju holds his breath as he reads the comments. 

_[Comments]_

_Absolutely disgusting! I’m unstanning this fag immediately!_

_Eww eww eww! Dongju‘s gay? Gross! Leave the group before you infect the others._

_Dongju sucks. He probably guilt trips the members into cuddling up to him. Hope he crashes and burns for being so manipulative._

Dongju bites the inside of his cheek. These are only the first few comments. They’re followed by many more hateful comments, some even wishing him to die. He shuts his phone off before he can read more. 

The other members seem equally as shocked. Hwanwoong is the first to speak. “Is it true? Are you gay?” 

Dongju just nods, tears threatening to spill over. This was not the way he was expecting to come out to his members. 

Seoho speaks next, “Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“I-I was worried you wouldn’t accept me. I love this group, I don’t want anything to change. But I guess I can’t deny it anymore...” 

Keonhee squeezes in next to Dongju. “Oh, Dongju. We don’t care. We love you either way. You’re our beloved maknae and nothing will ever change that.” 

“Keonhee’s right. We love you, Ju.” Geonhak adds. 

Youngjo wraps an arm around Dongju’s waist and pulls him in for a hug. The other members soon follow suit, engulfing Dongju in loving warmth. 

Youngjo’s phone rings, so they break the hug so he can pick up the call. All Dongju can make out is muffled words from their manager. Youngjo just nods, brows furrowed in a tense expression. He hangs up the phone a few minutes later. 

“That was the manager, he wants to see Dongju. _Now.”_

Dongju gulps. He hadn’t even had time to worry about what the company would say. He was too busy panicking. They have a strict no-dating policy. He doubts they’d approve of a relationship, let alone one with another man. Even if it wasn’t true, the fact still stands that he’s gay.

The mood of the room darkens. They’re all worried now, about what the manager will say. This isn’t just something they can just sweep under the carpet. 

Dongju gets ready alone and in silence. Youngjo offers to walk with Dongju to their manager’s office, but Dongju waves him off. He doesn’t want Youngjo to be there if something bad happens. 

Dongju doesn’t even eat before leaving for his manager’s office. It’s a few floors down from the dorms in the RBW building. Each of the members give him a hug before he goes, but it’s easy to tell they’re trying to cover up their fear. 

Dongju knocks on the door to the office gently. His manager calls him in and gestures for him to take a seat. 

“I’m sure it’s obvious why I called you here.” Dongju just nods, too afraid to speak. His manager soon has an outburst, “Then what the _hell_ were you thinking?! You know we have a strict no-dating policy. To make it worse, you’re _gay!”_

“I’m sorry, sir, but it isn’t what you think it is. He tried to—”

“I don’t want to hear your lame excuses, Dongju. You have put us in a lot of trouble. We’re trying to track down the source of the photos, but that doesn’t change that they’re online now.” The manager turns his back to Dongju and takes a deep breath. “The CEO thinks you should take a break. ONEUS is supposed to come back soon, and we think it’d be better if you sat this one out.” 

“But—”

“No buts! You’ve already done enough damage as-is.” Dongju shuts his mouth. “Pack up your belongings, you are to leave the dorms by tonight.” 

Dongju wants to cry. “Y-Yes, sir.” He doesn’t like how weak his voice sounds. 

“You’re free to leave.” It’s more of a command. 

Dongju sulks the whole way up to his dorm. He can’t believe it. ONEUS was just starting to pick up popularity, and he had to go and fuck it all up. 

When he enters the dorm, he’s met with all the members waiting on the couch. They’re all very tense, anticipating the details of Dongju’s meeting. 

Dongju just stands in the center of their circle and stares at the floor. He can’t make eye contact with the members. “They’re putting me on hiatus.” 

“What?!” His members gasp. “But the comeback is so soon! We’re supposed to film the music video next week.”

“They don’t want me to participate. They’re worried I’ll drag the team down.”

“I’m so sorry, Dongju. This isn’t fair.”

Dongju shakes his head, “It’s my fault for getting caught. I never should have gone in the first place.”

“You couldn’t have known he was going to kiss you, especially after—” Youngjo covers his mouth. The other members don’t know the details behind the alleged date yet. 

“No, it’s ok, tell them the truth. I’m a no-good fag who let themselves get reeled in with friendship.”

“That is _not_ what happened! He forced himself onto you!” 

“Doesn’t change the fact that I’m gay! Somethings wrong with me, why can't I just be normal?”

“We don’t want you to be ‘normal,’ we want you to be _happy._ We don’t care if you’re gay, straight, or whatever. What matters is we love you.” 

Dongju doesn’t listen. “I’m going to pack. They want me to move out for now.” Dongju leaves for the bedroom and starts packing his bags. 

_[@official_ONEUS]_

_Hello, this is RBW. Under mutual agreement, member XION has decided to take a temporary hiatus. He will not be participating in the upcoming comeback or promotions._

_[Comments]_

_Don’t put him on hiatus, KICK HIM OUT!! I can’t allow someone like him around my boys. He’s a terrible influence!_

> _REPLY: AGREED!_ _#XIONisoverparty #getXIONout_

Dongju hates this. It hurts even more to know the tags are trending in Korea. People really want him to leave the group. 

* * *

It’s been a month since Dongju went on hiatus and a week since ONEUS came back. Their popularity really suffered from the scandal. The music video racked in thousands of comments, but the majority saying ONEUS is better off without Dongju and that he should leave already. And each time a stage performance video is released, it’s the same. 

Their dislike ratio is insane. It could just be trolls or bots, but a mass number of people have gone through every single video Dongju was in and disliked it, demanding RBW delete the video and kick Dongju out of the company. 

The members have tried to stay in-touch with Dongju, but the company won’t allow them. They monitor their phones closely and never let them talk to Dongju for too long. They delete any texts that are remotely supportive. Their texts now are just variations on “We’re performing today.” “Ok, good luck.”

Dongmyeong is allowed to talk to him, since they’re family, so there’s not much the company can do to stop them. But even then, they monitor Dongmyeong’s phone activity. They never let him talk to Dongju for that long either. 

It hurts. He knows his members miss him. Dongmyeong had told him before his manager forcefully hung up his phone call with Dongju. He knows Dongmyeong probably got scolded for saying anything, but it needed to be said. 

It was obvious too. In behind the scenes videos, there were often awkward cuts. Dongju knows it’s the editors cutting out anytime they mention Dongju. It’s like they’re trying to erase all evidence Xion ever existed. 

But Dongju sees the empty spots they leave for him in group pictures. 

* * *

It’s a month after the comeback when Dongju gets a call from his manager. It’s a call that would forever change Dongju’s life. 

The manager explains that ONEUS’s popularity has plummeted drastically. He explicitly repeats it is all Dongju’s fault too. No one watches their videos completely anymore. They only click on them to demand Dongju leaves. Their sales are suffering, ONEUS only trending on the social charts because the group’s name is mentioned in posts along with demands for Dongju to leave. 

“We have decided to terminate your contract.” 

“W-What?” Dongju’s voice is shaking. 

“You’ve done too much damage, the company has suffered too much. We think ONEUS is better off without you. They can maybe gain popularity again if you just aren’t in the picture.” 

“I don’t understand—”

“Don’t call again—ever. In fact, don’t even come to the RBW Lounge. Don’t try to communicate with the members either, you’ll just drag them down. They’re receiving new numbers that they’re not allowed to give you. We’ll make an exception for Dongmyeong, but that’s only because he’s your family.” 

“But—” The line goes dead. When Dongju tries to call back, he’s met with a message that this number is no longer in use. Although he knows that it really means he’s been blocked. 

_[@official_ONEUS]_

_Hello, this is RBW. The members, XION, and the company have met to discuss the future of ONEUS. They have mutually agreed to part ways with XION. XION’s contract will be terminated effective immediately._

_As per his request, any footage containing XION will be removed and edited for reupload at a later date. Special care will be taken to re-release all songs with redistributed lines replacing XION’s previous ones. ONEUS will begin the recording of these new versions after promotions have ended._

_[Comments]_

_Finally! ONEUS is better off without him._

_Honestly this isn’t enough. I get sick just hearing the name ONEUS. How does it feel knowing you ruined my favorite group for me, Xion?_

> _REPLY: Same. My username makes me wanna puke. I’m gonna deactivate soon. I’ve already unstanned ONEUS, he was such a bad influence, I think he turned the others gay. He’s terrible and untalented. #ONEUSisoverparty_
> 
> _REPLY: Omg you noticed it too? They’ve been way too touchy with each other, it’s disgusting. Hope that fag is happy he infected everyone and ruined their lives. #ONEUSisoverparty_

Dongju can’t take it. He can’t even go outside without being recognized and shouted at. He doesn’t log onto social media anymore. He knows it’ll only be full of comments about how he ruined ONEUS’s career. He even stops listening to K-Pop altogether.

The lies make him sick. RBW releases official statements, but none of them are true. They did not “mutually agree” on anything, they went behind his back and kicked him out. 

RBW tries to pick the group back up, but the damage is permanent. The backlash is so bad, the group stops getting invited to interviews and stages altogether. The best they can do is post videos on their YouTube channel, but they never get enough views to bring in a stable revenue. 

ONEUS’s name is forever tainted. When anyone mentions it, it comes with hateful comments. The only nice comments are ones sympathizing with the other members for Dongju ruining their careers. 

Dongju moves. There’s too many bad memories in Korea and he can’t handle the constant glares and death-threats. He moves to his aunt's house in America where no one knows his face or name. 

The next time he sees Dongmyeong, it’s for a holiday dinner at his aunt’s house. He brings heartbreaking news. ONEUS was forced to disband because they weren’t bringing in any money. Their final post was a tearful goodbye. It pains Dongju to look at, but he lets Dongmyeong show it to him anyway. 

_[@official_ONEUS]_

_Hello, TO MOON. This is ONEUS._

_It is with a heavy heart that we regret to inform you that we are officially disbanding. We came to a mutual agreement with RBW to terminate our exclusive contracts and go our separate ways._

_We are grateful to TO MOON for their support throughout our time as ONEUS. We hope you will continue to support us in our individual careers moving forward. But our time as ONEUS and TO MOON has come to an end._

_So for the last time forever, this has been ONEUS. Thank you._

The post is actually a thread. Dongju clicks on the tweet and opens the thread. It’s a series of videos. A series of solo videos of each member saying goodbye. They all have tears in their eyes as they do the group’s greeting one final time and thank the fans and the other members. 

Dongju can’t stop himself from breaking down. Is this reality? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: GROUP MEMBER LEAVING, GROUP DISBANDMENT  
> NOTE: Any hate comments left are NOT meant to replicate any real accounts or comments. I simply made up fake comments. I purposefully did not include usernames because I don’t want these comments to be associated with any account, real or fake.
> 
> I’m so so so sorry. I’m especially sorry to Dongju, my love. I hope this never happens ever. I want the world to be a safe place where everyone feels accepted for who they are and can be free to love whoever with consent. 
> 
> The truth is, Korea is still a very conservative country. While it isn’t illegal to partake in homosexual activities, most individuals are not protected under law nor can they officially be married. Unfortunately, Korea has a long way to go when it comes to accepting different sexualities. 
> 
> I was inspired by several things. One, a story I recently read. It had some plot that got me thinking of Korea now in regards to accepting sexuality. That story is “Our Time” by @whisper_feather also on AO3. I was also inspired by stories of real homosexual people living in Korea, mainly Holland and his struggle to be accepted while also trying to spread the message of acceptance. Finally, an online course I’m taking about gender, family, and sexuality in South Korea inspired me. 
> 
> I hope this serves as inspiration to go out and fight for equality. Together, we can be the change. We can establish a world where no idol has to worry about this ever happening to them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments, kudos, etc. are greatly appreciated.


End file.
